365 Days of Sage

Dear Sage, 

You will be ONE in less than a week! Below are a few things I’d like to remember about your first year of life.

This is you, just hours after you were born, sleeping right through your newborn exam, here in your very own home. Your debut into this world was so beautiful!

• The first night of your life, I could not stop holding and rocking you, our soft, sweet little miracle! My body was stunned, but my spirit was soaring. 

• 48 hours after you were born, I stood at my upstairs window and watched your precious four year old sister pedal down the sidewalk on a bike without training wheels. Your proud, happy Daddy jogging behind and beaming up at me.
• At two weeks old, a dentist used a laser to separate the tight connective tissue on your top lip that made it difficult for you to nurse. It was a sad day for mama, though I knew it was the best for you. I held you tight and tears streamed down my face. You gave us all a piece of your mind after that! 
• I swaddled you into little burritos all day long.

• Your favorite place to sleep the first few weeks of your life was on your Daddy’s chest.

• You slept between us in our bed for the first six weeks.
• After that, in a bassinet in our room until four months.
• After that, I moved you to a crib in a separate room, a stone’s throw away, and we missed you being so close to us. 
• You were high maintenance your first six weeks. You wanted to be held and moved constantly. Only “The Bobble” (holding you upright and gently bouncing you up and down) was effective. We bobbled you for hours. 
• I was beginning to think you might be colicky, but around six weeks you mellowed into the calmest, happiest, cuddliest little creature around.
• Your first gummy little smiles knocked me out. I adore the more recent toothy version, too.

• You made happy little gurg-ly noises that amazed me. I would listen to you and remember when you were still just a wish.
• As soon as you could bust out of your swaddle, you showed a clear preference for sleeping on your tummy. I would lay you down on your back in your crib, and in one smooth move, you would turn over and get comfy. You still do this.

• As a newborn, you loved your pacifier, but soon wised up and began to spit it out with disdain.
• When you found your fingers, you sucked on a random combination of the ones in the middle (not the thumb.) 
• You also loved to suck on your toes. 

• At four months, our pediatrician grew concerned about your rate of growth. In my heart I believed you were just perfect. It was rattling, but I trusted my instincts. Today, you are thriving! Just little! Quality vs. quantity, for sure!
• You made the sweetest little milk-drunk faces. 
• As you grew, you reached up and touched my face as you nursed. 

• You love to nurse! In addition to countless feedings at home, I have nursed you all over creation. In the car; at sister’s dance, tumbling and art classes; Starbucks; once, on a moving hayride at the Fort Worth Nature Center. That last one was not ideal, but I had no bottle with me and it had to be done. I was covered up, and figured if the people on that ride had gone to such lengths to admire mammals in their habitat, they could damn well give me some grace, as we, too, are mammals. :)
• I loved being your lifeline so much that I found myself grieving when it was time to introduce solid food. It’s not that nursing is all roses, but it is a unique, special responsibility that I will have twice in my life. We travelled a long way together just you and I, little Sage! From newborn to rolling, grabbing, giggling, babbling. Mama just needed to feel really sentimental for day or two for all we accomplished as a team!
• When I was ready, I began to make your baby food. This time around, I knew the baby food season would be a short one, and in no time you’d be eating table food with the rest of us.  It was easy to make. I actually felt like a dope, in retrospect, for buying it commercially for your sister. It felt good to give you something healthy and tasty enough that I’d eat myself. :)

• Initially, you were like a baby bird, opening  your mouth on instinct to anything I offered.
• Now, you are a voracious little dinosaur, consuming anything and everything in your path.  Unlike your sister, who loved to hurl her food and bottles to the floor, you are so interested in food that you leave the plate on the table! It’s remarkable.
• What a lucky little girl you are to have such a sweet and loving big sister! Your sister sings to you, tells you she loves you all through the day, is fluent in your “language,” protects you fiercely, reads to you, builds special pillow forts for you and laughs gleefully at your ridiculous cuteness. You are so loved.
• There are few things in my life that come close to the joy I feel watching you and  your sister play and laugh together. I pray that you will enjoy a strong, healthy and supportive relationship throughout your lives.
• I have loved watching you ride in a red wagon together, cruise side by side in a double stroller, jointly “drive” the grocery cart, hold hands in the back seat of the car. 

• I completely underestimated how much fun it would be to dress you alike, and I believe I will do this as long as you let me get away with it. 

• You enjoy crawling into your sister’s room, and on multiple occasions I have walked in to find that she has had a field day with you and her dress-up clothes. It cracks me up.

• Speaking of fashion...someday you might grow up to be a dedicated follower of it, but that is not how I roll.You have spent a good 75% of your first year in pajamas. Yep, even in public. When you grow out of these Carter’s zip-up sleep n play outfits, I simply buy the next size up. Your signature look communicates: cozy, snuggly, practical, and approachable. I realize I am biased, but I just don’t think they make ‘em any cuter than you in your PJs! You are under one, and if there is ever a time to get away with this low-key approach, it is now. :) I save the bows and frill for special occasions!

• Your unique way of showing affection is to press your forehead into mine (or Daddy’s, or sister’s.) We call these “Sage-y loves” and they are gentler, snugglier versions of the head-butt.
• You didn’t consistently sleep all night until eight months of age. The cumulative effects of that took a toll on your Dad and I. You were killing us, smalls. I don’t even know what to say about that except that we are grateful you are more or less sleeping soundly now. Keep up the good work, baby-cakes!
• You know the hunter-gatherer cultures, in which babies are carted around day and night and never set down? You would have functioned well in those societies. The majority of your first  year you did not want to be put down. You’re quite the crawler/cruiser now, so you’ve entered a squirmier, more exploratory chapter. But being held is still your happy place.

• I love the way you snuggle into me with my whole heart. You are a precious baby, Sage.
• After I’ve been away from you for a bit (the gym, church, the grocery store on the delicious occasions I go by myself), you greet me in a way that makes me feel like a million bucks. You rock your whole body in excitement, grin crazily, squeal, and lunge toward me with gusto and IT IS THE BEST.
• When you eat, and when we ask you questions, you nod your head and rock enthusiastically back and forth. 
• I love the way your Daddy looks at you; the smiles on his handsome face; his belly laughs. When he puts his forehead into his palms as if your cuteness is just too great to bear (which it is!)

• Lately, you point at everything and are trying so hard to talk. I can’t wait to hear all that you have to say about this crazy world we live in. 
• Your first word was “Mama.” (Woot!)
• You came into this world in the water, and you love it there! You love your bath, and for the past few months, you and your sister have attended swim class together. You are already going underwater for seven whole seconds! One day your Dad was able to come watch. When you finished your swim turn, you looked around, and when you found him, you smiled and waved just as grandly as if you were accepting an Olympic gold medal! I couldn’t stop giggling. Oh, Sage. :)

You have brought SO MUCH JOY into our lives. I thank God for the joy of knowing your beautiful little self, and for the privilege of being your mama. 

Happy Birthday, sweet baby Sage! You stole my heart, and I don’t ever want it back.